Dealing with Separation




Before we were married, hubby and I knew we'd have to deal with various times of separation.  Military life is like that, and it's not for everyone.  It can take a lot out of you and your spouse.
Within our first year of dating, about one third of our time together was spent physically apart. Various training, field exercises, and deployments add up over time.  And it's taken me awhile to get a pattern down that helps me get through these times of separation.

To combat the feeling that my life is on pause while hubby's away, I've started making lists for each separation. Making a personal list helps me stay on track, helps remind me that even though my favorite person is temporarily gone, I can still kick butt, be happy, be successful and I should never feel bad about what I accomplish while he's gone. 

The real success to my list method is to set a list that is realistic for me to mostly complete and to create a varied list.  To keep my lists realistically achievable, I like to keep my list length relative to the time I have to complete it.  For shorter periods, less than a week, I'll keep my list to three to five things.  For about a week, I'll push it up to six things, maybe seven.  For two weeks, I'll have about twelve to ten things.  And for a month or more, I try not to put a number on it.  As for variety, I try to at least have one of each of these per list: I usually will write down a few projects or items that I've been putting off or ones that I really want to work on or get a decent chunk done.  I also like to layer projects with "to do's" around the house, self pampering / self care items, and a few ways to spoil hubby and show him I care when he returns.  I find this variety allows for whatever mood I'm in while he's gone. 

The last tip for my list method is to remember that it is ok if I don't complete the list, and it's ok if I complete it and even add to it.  It's honestly only there for my peace of mind and to allow a bit of normalcy for me while my other half is gone.

As an example, hubby was gone for about five days and my list for that period looked like this:





Another time, he was gone for a little over two weeks:





I hope this helps you create your own healthy habits when dealing with separation.

Happy creating, and happy mental health!






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